Wolf & Goddess

Musing and brooding through eternity

Posts Tagged ‘death’

Illusion #1

Posted by lahirondelle on June 22, 2008

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once upon a time there was a young prince who believed in all things but three. He did not believe in princesses, he did not believe in islands, and he did not believe in God. His father, the king, told him that such things did not exist. As there were no princesses or islands in his father’s domains, and no sign of God, the prince believed his father.

But then, one day, the prince ran away from his palace and came to the next land. There, to his astonishment, from every coast he saw islands, and on these islands, strange and troubling creatures whom he dared not name. As he was searching for a boat, a man in full evening dress approached him along the shore.

“Are those real islands?” asked the young prince.
“Of course they are real islands,” said the man in evening dress.
“And those strange and troubling creatures?”
“They are all genuine and authentic princesses.”
“Then God must also exist!” cried the young prince.
“I am God,” replied the man in evening dress, with a bow.

The young prince returned home as quickly as he could.

“So, you are back,” said his father, the king.
“I have seen islands, I have seen princesses, I have seen God,” said the prince reproachfully.
The king was unmoved.
“Neither real islands, real princesses nor a real God exist.”
“I saw them!”
“Tell me how God was dressed.”
“God was in full evening dress.”
“Were the sleves of his coat rolled back?”
The prince remembered that they had been. The king smiled.
“That is the uniform of a magician. You have been deceived.”

At this, the prince returned to the next land and went to the same shore, where once again he came upon the man in full evening dress.

“My father, the king, has told me who you are,” said the prince indignantly. “You deceived me last time, but not again. Now I know that those are not real islands and real princesses, because you are a magician.”
The man on the shore smiled.
“It is you who are deceived, my boy. In your father’s kingdom, there are many islands and many princesses. But you are under your father’s spell, so you cannot see them.”

The prince pensively returned home. When he saw his father, he looked him in the eye.
“Father, is it true that you are not a real king, but only a magician?”
The king smiled and rolled back his sleeves.
“Yes, my son, I’m only a magician.”
“Then the man on the other shore was God.”
“The man on the other shore was another magician.”
“I must know the truth, the truth beyond magic.”
“There is no truth beyond magic,” said the king.
The prince was full of sadness. He said “I will kill myself.”
The king by magic caused Death to appear. Death stood in the door and beckoned to the prince. The prince shuddered. He remembered the beautiful but unreal islands and the unreal but beautiful princesses.
“Very well,” he said, “I can bear it”.
“You see, my son,” said the king, “you, too, now begin to be a magician.”

From “The Magus” by John Fowles.

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Destruction

Posted by lahirondelle on May 5, 2008

I have been avoiding making this post for a month. The truth is when I said that I would post on the five themes I knew there was only one thing I could discuss under Destruction and eh, it is hard.

My Dad has cancer and I am afraid he is slowly dying.

Ok, that is that out in the open, so let’s delve a little deeper. I have this Hindu/Buddhist journey thing going on. My dad is an athiest. He says he believed in God when I was born but I think it had worn off by the time I had started school. So he faces death as the ultimate, no bullshit end. That’s it, it has been wonderful, drive safely, lights off, goodnight. I wish I were a proper Christian so I could say “no not that, this” (heaven etc.). Because although my dad could be a bit of a shit and in his day was a lot of a womaniser – he is a wonderful human being and would be the kind of guy God would love to have on his team. But I am the mess of faith and so I find myself believing something, but what? I have no idea. Suddenly my search for an answer has become more pressing, because my dad is on the edge of the abyss.

Aside from the desire to give my dad a convincing alternative to his spiritual nihilism I need the comfort myself. Wolf talks to his dead. I’m not sure when, or how often. But he communes… and sometimes (at least from the expressions on the cats faces I think this is the case) they drop by for a visit.

I guess this is why Faith is called Faith and not Knowing.

Incidentally, dad isn’t cashing in his chips yet. He is ready to fight and the weapon of choice is chemotherapy. Here I recognise Shiva’s dance – destroy to create. Just wish I could touch his hair one more time before the destruction starts.

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Dance, then…

Posted by lahirondelle on April 7, 2008

I danced myself out of the womb

Dance, then, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the Dance, said he,
And I’ll lead you all, wherever you may be,
And I’ll lead you all in the Dance, said he.

What better way to resurrect the dead than with the other man in my life, besides Wolf (and I have my suspicions about those two, but that can wait)? Lord Shiva – Nataraj, my cosmic dancer. He has been in my life overtly for about 10 years, but I think he may have been lurking in other forms before that. When I am lost and I remember to ask for help he usually appears to point the way.  And again feeling the need for this place I look for an opening and he provides it with his dance of bliss:

This cosmic dance of Shiva is called ‘Anandatandava,’ meaning the Dance of Bliss, and symbolizes the cosmic cycles of creation and destruction, as well as the daily rhythm of birth and death. The dance is a pictorial allegory of the five principle manifestations of eternal energy — creation, destruction, preservation, salvation, and illusion.

So welcome me back, dancing.

 

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